All I really want is just for someone to like me for me. Not necessarily in a romantic way, even as a friend. I'll never understand how people can decide that they like someone based on how they look. And then I realise I'm a hypocrite, because I'm guilty of that too. But as you grow older and if you're lucky, a little wiser, you start to wonder about the things that really matter. 

I don't want someone to like me because of how I look, or because of who they think I might be. I'd want to get to know someone first, know their personality, what are they like around their family, what are their favourite songs etc. before I even decide and admit to myself that I like that person. In all honesty, I think looks do matter. But they're just not the only things that do. So how can you make a judgement about somebody and your feelings about them based on their appearance. 

I want somebody to like me for all the small things that might mean the world to them. I want somebody to like me for the way I laugh for 5 minutes straight at the same lame joke. I want somebody to like me for the way I can listen to my favourite bands on replay the whole day and sing along to every song. I want somebody to like me for the way I cuddle up in bed with books when the world doesn't feel right and neither do I. 

But then again, I've seen what love and feelings and relationships can do. 

I've seen my dad running after our car with my mum driving away as fast as she can, her face furious and devastated all at the same time with tears and muscus dripping down her face. I've seen the fights that parents have while you're huddling down in the kitchen trying to comfort your baby brother. I've seen relationships fall apart and the people you love feeling broken, knowing that there's absolutely nothing you can do to make them feel okay again.

But then again, I've seen what happens when love works out the way it's supposed to. I've seen my mum and dad holding hands, walking together in the shopping mall. I've seen the little kiss my dad gives my mum when he comes back home from work. I've seen the biggest smile on my sister's face when she comes back from a great day with the one she can't stop thinking about. And I've felt what it's like to just see the face of the person you'd give everything for and you feel that everything is going to work out again as long as you have them, even if it's just for that moment.

I sit and wonder how can something so beautiful either make you or break you. But I guess that's the beauty of it. When you decide to love someone, what if you fall? But then again, what if you fly? And I think that that's the most exciting and wonderful part about love. That you'll never know what's going to happen, but you know that as long as you have someone to love and someone to love you back, someone to protect and care for, you can face anything together.

So it's not that I don't love you, it's that I still do.