Today was... a mixture between good and bad. We met at 7 in the morning and we touched up on the script and practiced then we presented our skit first and afterwards we had to do our presentations. That was when it went really wrong. :-(

We were separated into our different councils and the guide was nice enough, even though he was in charge of GA he went all the way down to show me to the DISEC holding room. We were talking about really random things but it was nice, helped me to forget everything for a while. 

My presentation was okay, except for when I forgot to click my slides. It was horrible when they started asking questions and I wasn't sure how to reply them so I just said whatever I could (and they made no sense whatsoever) off the top of my head. Messed up so badly, I can't even. Thoroughly disappointed with myself but I haven't told anyone yet about what exactly happened. 

I was so tired once I got home because I was and still am surviving on only 3 hours of sleep and I had no mood to go out and to go to church at all. But I knew I was being bloody ridiculous and I shouldn't backslide so I went to tx with Alex. :-) Once we got in I just immediately leaned on Cheng En's shoulder and tried to sleep but I kept on getting woken up. Random but I need to have somebody who's tall enough so it's comfortable when I lean on their shoulder haha.

Grace is amazing and she always knows what to say. She prayed for me before worship and she understands why I'm how I am. The sermon was really impactful because it was about taming our tongue, which I really need. I've been trying to stop being negative and saying vulgarities for the longest time but it's so hard. I used to think that it wasn't possible when people said that they can't control when they say vulgarities, but now I understand. It's horrible because it sort of comes naturally in your speech even when you don't mean to say it. 

The part that really surprised me about altar call is that people who have been hurt by words from others and they accept those words and they go home and tell themselves that they really are what people say were also called in front. It's just so fitting to my situation and I'm so glad for this sermon. I'm free from the bondage of my negative words and the words of others. I don't want to have a defiled tongue because I want to serve God and praise Him.

So many things have been happening lately and now I'm so confused about how I feel about everything. I just know that I have God and Romans 8:18 - "I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed within us" and that's all I need.

Gotta catch up on my sleep, good night. :-) 

A singer for God. A baseball jacket. My own laptop. Own a pair of Toms & Vans. Pierce my ears. Learn how to play the guitar. Dance in the rain. Ride the Tower of Terror in Tokyo Disneysea again. Master nail art. Learn how to do a french braid. I wanna be blown away, I wanna be swept off my feet, I wanna meet the one who makes it hard for me to breathe. I wanna be lost in love, I wanna be your dream come true, I wanna be scared of how strong I feel for you. I want to fall in love. I want to look at the clouds with him. I want to find myself again. I want to be happy.