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"I've got a war in my mind."
Monday, April 15, 2013 @ 2:40 AM | 0 Comment [s]
I don't know what to do anymore. I'm lost and confused and insecure. The people I need to talk to the most are the ones I'm afraid of opening up to.
Isn't it sad how I'm supposed to be able to tell you everything, but because I know you so well that I'll know how you'll react and what you'll say that I don't want you to have anything to do with what I'm going through in my life? I'm scared to talk to you okay, do you know how crazy that is. I've know you my entire life dammit! But I can't, cause I know how you would act and I don't want to go through all that, not again.
You've always wanted me to do things your way, but it's my life. You're going to make me change again just because you want to. I don't see the point. You're never there for me. What more do you want? I can't give you anymore but I can't afford to lose you. My heart is breaking and I have to act so... fake around everybody.
It's like one part of my mind is telling me to just let it all go and give up. I can't even talk to you, what am I supposed to do? But the other part of me tells me to hold on and don't let go, because it tells me to give you a chance and maybe you'll change. But I can't. I know what you'll say and what you'll do and I can't tell you anything my gosh isn't it terrible you're my but I'm too afraid to tell you anything about my life! I'm just so confused about everything now. I don't know what to do.
Pictures now, cause I can't find anymore words to say.
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