HELLOOOO! Oh my goodness it has been nearly 2 weeks since I last blogged and I finally found the time today! Well not exactly I shouldn't even be blogging now but meh. Lately everything's been so busy and all I can do is wake up early > go out and do everything > come back late and fall asleep and the cycle's been going on and on. It's really hectic.

The things that have happened since I last blogged are Fedora's birthday, my mum's birthday, ushering at sports day, my stage 3 drill test, disney on ice and gb company camp (where we took our drill test again) and countless meetings for sjwp! 

This is exactly how I feel like for drill right now. ): I realise I talk a lot about drill. Hahaha anyway yeah I honestly think I failed my stage 3 drill test. I horse kick T_T I don't know when I started I never used to but apparently now I do and I can't make it right and it's gonna screw my drill up ugh, I'm so mad but at the same time I'm heartbroken. If that makes sense to you. Idk you may think I'm overreacting but drill means so much more to me than what other people think.

Chinese project. Oh just talking about it makes me pissed. They both knew that I was still at camp yet they did the project without me and told me I didn't need to do anything. I mean some might find it good but I'm not like that. 

SUPER IRRITATED. 

Man I have not been having my best days lately. I've been having so much going on around me (nothing I would blog about) and I don't know how to deal with them. 

At camp we watched the movie soul surfer and it is one of the most inspiring movies ever. It's about this girl, Bethany Hamilton, who dreams of being a pro surfer but one day she loses an arm because of a shark attack and this is the story of how she perseveres and learns to live again. It's an amazing movie, definitely recommend it. 

Anyway, one of the scenes was about how you should see life from a new perspective when you can't make sense of things. I'm trying, I really am. But I just can't see how this can be God's plan for me and I'm so lost. 

I want to see everything from a new point of view. I want to step back and see how all of this is going to work out. 

I'm willing to work for it, for things to get better. But I need to know where to start. I hate this lousy feeling. I hate having fights with you. I hate going back there. I want it to stop. 

A singer for God. A baseball jacket. My own laptop. Own a pair of Toms & Vans. Pierce my ears. Learn how to play the guitar. Dance in the rain. Ride the Tower of Terror in Tokyo Disneysea again. Master nail art. Learn how to do a french braid. I wanna be blown away, I wanna be swept off my feet, I wanna meet the one who makes it hard for me to breathe. I wanna be lost in love, I wanna be your dream come true, I wanna be scared of how strong I feel for you. I want to fall in love. I want to look at the clouds with him. I want to find myself again. I want to be happy.