Hello, how have y'all been? 

Lately things have been better, not the best, but definitely getting better. I still feel like she'd choose her over me any day, but I've gotten closer to my other friends again. It hurts when they stand to the side and talk amongst themselves and leave the rest of us out but we're handling it. 

I'm thankful to have such funny friends who can understand me and my problems and they can make me laugh. :*

-My sister just forced my blog address out of me. If you're reading this when you promised not to I SEE YOU O_O-

I want to go back to the week after the countdown where I was so into and trusting the word of God. I love going to church and attending church camps not because of my friends or the people (they're a part of the reason though) but because I love being in the presence of God and listening to His word. 

I love knowing and being reminded daily that I have a God who loves me so much that He gave up His one and only son to die on the cross for me. That He'll always be protecting and looking after me. That I know and believe that I have a God who I can reply on forever because I know that He will never ever leave me nor forsake me.

"If He brought you to it, He'll bring you through it."

But the things of this world always distract me from all that. Whenever I face problems and challenges in my life I always break down and play the damsel in distress because I forget that I have a God who is greater than anything.

It's usually the few days after a church camp or conference where I would be completely calm and peaceful because I know that He's with me and that I can do anything with Him.

I've sinned so much and I'm so sorry. I want to go back to that period and stay there forever with my faith so strong that nothing can shake me. We have to do our faith goals for our cell and one of my spiritual ones is to do my quiet time everyday. I really want the Living Life Journal so I can know that I have a schedule to follow and that'll help me.

I'm going back to Him and now through my period of friendship and school problems, I believe in Him and I'll be peaceful due to the fact that He'll be walking right next to me.

It's a wonderful feeling, knowing that you have somebody to lean on.

I'm always going to have rough patches in my life but I know that with God I'll make it through everything. My eyes and my heart's open now.

I'm not alone, I remember my theme, sometimes you have to be your own hero.

I'll fight for myself and I'll walk with God everyday. I'll fight for everything I love and believe in for the rest of my life. I won't be the sad girl who needs saving. I'll get through everything with God and just let go of all the negativity, hate and everything that's holding me down. The worst is over.

I can breathe again. (:

A singer for God. A baseball jacket. My own laptop. Own a pair of Toms & Vans. Pierce my ears. Learn how to play the guitar. Dance in the rain. Ride the Tower of Terror in Tokyo Disneysea again. Master nail art. Learn how to do a french braid. I wanna be blown away, I wanna be swept off my feet, I wanna meet the one who makes it hard for me to breathe. I wanna be lost in love, I wanna be your dream come true, I wanna be scared of how strong I feel for you. I want to fall in love. I want to look at the clouds with him. I want to find myself again. I want to be happy.