Ello, today was... pretty bad.

Is it me? Did I do something wrong? I just can't stand how you guys can be so rude and playful to the extent where it's annoying and irresponsible. Everybody doesn't like y'all cause of how you act. Don't you even want to try and get along at least? 

And you. Oh my goodness I did not expect that from you at all. I thought you were better than that. I thought I actually meant something to you cause of how close we were. But no, you're just like the rest. Gossiping and backstabbing about everyone else every chance you get. 

I think, nobody would care if I'm gone. I don't make a difference anyway. Everybody will do fine without me.

I FEEL SO BAD AND AWFUL AND TERRIBLE ABOUT MYSELF I CAN'T EVEN.

My heart breaks, when I see everyone acting this way. I know you're not like this, why'd you change yourself just to fit in. Or was it me again, forever seeing the best in people and giving them my everything but I end up getting hurt instead. Probably the last one, a bad habit that I've got to kick.

Sigh. But I don't know when I realised it actually. When I got out of the shower, when I sat on the couch. I remember whenever I talk to people and cheer them up I always say that it's just a bad day, not a bad life.

Sure, my friends are pretty crappy apparently and I can't seem to trust the one I need to talk to the most cause she's the one who's hurt me. But I just have to suck it up. I'm gonna face much bigger challenges in life and this is just one of them. I just have to pray, trust in God and just get rid off the people who I can do without.

I'd do anything for you but instead you treat me like this. Eh, I'm not yours, go find someone else to manipulate and backstab. I'm through with you ~~

Stop. Take a step back. Analyse everything. It's not as bad as it seems. Breathe again. Smile. Move on.

A singer for God. A baseball jacket. My own laptop. Own a pair of Toms & Vans. Pierce my ears. Learn how to play the guitar. Dance in the rain. Ride the Tower of Terror in Tokyo Disneysea again. Master nail art. Learn how to do a french braid. I wanna be blown away, I wanna be swept off my feet, I wanna meet the one who makes it hard for me to breathe. I wanna be lost in love, I wanna be your dream come true, I wanna be scared of how strong I feel for you. I want to fall in love. I want to look at the clouds with him. I want to find myself again. I want to be happy.